Expecting Too Much From Our Kids

30 Sep

I have one daughter who seems to “have it all together” all the time. She is academically gifted, a people pleaser to the max. She never gets into trouble at school, is crushed with disappointment if she perceives the slightest failure in herself…A real type A kind of gal. In the hectic chaos of the last several years of my life, I really wronged this particular daughter. Because she was my “easy” one that I didn’t have to worry about, I let her true needs remain a low priority for me, always telling myself, “Whew, at least I don’t have to worry about this one. She behaves well and has it all together.” I actually even built up higher standards for her, since she exceeded every goal put before her. I did not see that this daughter began to feel that she was trying to be perfect but that it was never good enough.

How terribly heartbreaking to realize that the girl I loved so deeply and needed encouragement and unconditional love the most was not getting that from me…And was going to bed at night in tears not feeling loved.  When God spoke to my heart about this issue,  I was deeply convicted and vowed to take immediate steps to change things. My goals:  (1) Carve out regular times with this child alone so she will be keenly aware of her importance to me. (2) Pray for this beautiful girl and her needs and desires every single day. (3) Be watchful of my words and criticisms, making sure I am not like the foolish woman in proverbs that tore down her house, but rather like the wise one that built it.

Lord, heal my relationship with the  beautiful girl that you entrusted me with and let me ever be mindful of how fleeting and beautiful these years are. There is nothing more important than making sure my children know they are loved by You, and by me and their family.

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